12.27.09

all things new..

Posted in health/recovery, life happens, pilgrimage at 11:58 am by len

On the morning of Christmas eve we dropped off a large hamper of groceries with another family we have known about six years. The mother in this family has been on the street for most of the past five years, but it is beginning to look like she is making a change. Last year she and her children were with us for Christmas dinner. For the first time in five years they spent Christmas as a family — pretty thrilling for all of them. Then around 2 PM we hosted the street community downtown, in cooperation with the Gospel mission, serving roast beef dinners. We held a very short Christmas celebration, then ate together. This is becoming part of our tradition.

This Christmas season has been markedly different from previous ones for us. It’s the first time we have not had one of our children living with us, and the first time we have had others living with us.

I confess that I began by resisting this change. It wasn’t strong resistance nor was it long, but I was not ready to simply welcome it. I sensed that it meant much more than appeared on the surface, and I was right. Probably the only reason I agreed was a ringing voice in my ear that was calling, “Your life is not your own.”

So about two months ago we welcomed into our home a woman we have known for roughly ten years. She was in a transitional place and somewhat desperate. We knew that she needed a safe and stable place, and that if it came to her being unable to contribute anything for a month or two, it wouldn’t matter. We welcomed her as part of our family.

The larger story was that her two young adult children were also in desperate places. The youngest, at twenty-one, was exceedingly thin and we suspected an addiction. We were actively praying that this would all come into the light, and a couple of days before Christmas a series of unexpected events brought it all out. She left her boyfriend, confessed and asked for help, and moved in with us with her mother. All this put our family Christmas plans into jeopardy, but we checked in with our daughters and much like their mother, they understood the significance of what was happening and were content to work it out one day at a time (they both live in town so it makes adjustments simpler).

We don’t have a large home, so indeed it’s not possible to have someone living with us without their becoming part of our family. But this has all gone very well. And the changes we have seen — first in our friend, and now beginning in her daughter — are stunning. It’s a very concrete reminder that we are wounded in community — and we are healed in community. No one is healed of inner life wounds on their own, and emotional healing nearly always requires us to be surrounded with love and acceptance and safety. The pace of change.. compared to a weekly visit to a counselor (having sat in that chair for many, many hours also) is dramatic. And nearly every day we are hearing.. “It is so wonderful to be part of a family..”

We included them in our gift giving on Christmas day. (This is the first year that we were busier organizing gifts for others than for our own children — one change I have wanted to see for some time now). There seems to be a trend among our friends to more radical hospitality. Four couples we see regularly have also recently welcomed others into their home, or currently have someone living with them.

We who are in Christ are a new family — a new community — the new humanity — showing forth the transforming power of God’s love (1 Peter 2:9-10). We are a colony of the kingdom of God among other cultures. This is the way we should live.

* * *
Our insurance did cover the broken supply line that flooded part of our den a few weeks ago. But repair required a lot of digging in our front yard, and so far they are not planning to cover the landscape work needed or the broken irrigation system. I have to make a phone call this week and see if I can change the mind of the adjuster.

Now this morning we noticed two other things. When the backhoe was digging our house did some profound shaking. Last night we noticed a crack in the drywall in our living room, and a large crack in the blacktop on our driveway… all new. Hopefully this is the end of the outcome of that broken pipe. But whether we can expect our insurance to cover any of this.. unknown.

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